Daniel--Ch.4

The rain was still dropping violently when mine and Daniel's lips parted. Time seemed to have frozen and my mind seemed to have stopped functioning. All I could hear is Daniel's name echoing in my head, the sound of raindrops and Daniel's breath.

It seemed to take forever for the rain to stop. Me and Daniel held hands and stood silently, watching the rain drop against the ground. I couldn't help smiling. The silence was magical, it was like, we knew what each other's thinking even if we did not make a sound.

That day was like a miracle to me.

I often daydreamed about the kiss even when me and Daniel went out together. When we were watching movies, those kissing scenes made me want to grab Daniel and kiss him again. When Daniel moved closer to me, I couldn't stop myself from looking at his lips.

My mind was so full of Daniel. I couldn't place another person in my heart but him.

Things seemed to go well between me and Daniel. But with that special intuition of a girl, I sensed that something was wrong but I didn't know what it was. Why should every girl in love be gifted with this kind of intuition?

One day I was in the record store with Daniel. Coldplay's "Yellow" was in the air. Chris Martin's voice was always that melancholic, it was like he was yelling for something he couldn't reach, which was the reason why I didn't really like Coldplay.

When the song reached the crescendo, Daniel suddenly looked at me and my heart throbbed at that moment. His eyes always have that kind of force which seemed to draw me deep inside them.

"You know what, Christy," Daniel said, " this song always reminds me of you."
"Why?" I asked jokingly, "coz I'm all yellow?"
"No!" Daniel said and laughed.
"Then tell me why." I said.
"I don't know," Daniel said, "you always come to my mind when I hear the melody."
"Thank you for thinking of me." I said and smiled. I felt sweetness rising in my heart when Daniel said I always come to his mind.

"I love you, Christy," Daniel said, looking at me. He was then silent for a while like he was thinking about something seriously. "I really do." Daniel finally said. I was touched but at the same time, I felt a surge of coldness in my heart when I heard that, I didn't know what trembled me, but I felt like, I was sure of something was wrong. Something about Daniel's tone when he said "I really do" told me that, but I couldn't tell what was wrong with that tone.

I didn't confess to Daniel about this strange feeling. I'm so scared that if I told him, he would be taken away from me. I tried to act as normal as I could.

On the same day, in the evening, I checked my e-mail as usual after I went back home. "You have 0 unread message." Yahoo told me. When I was about to signed out, I saw an e-mail from Sam long long time ago with a photo attachment. I remembered that was a photo of a group of people, Sam's friends I supposed.

I clicked opened the attachment and scanned through the photo. I searched for Daniel's face. I found him and then I looked to the person standing next to him.

A girl. An incredibly attractive girl with hair like golden waterfall and a perfect body like Gisele. Daniel's arms wrapped around her shoulder and she leaned on Daniel, just like a couple.

I felt pain, like I was being stabbed by a sword. I immediately clicked the "delete" button.

"Are you sure you want to delete all messages?" Yahoo asked me.

No I was not sure. I was not sure about anything. No. No. I felt like I have lost my train of thoughts.

I deleted it anyway.



Written in September 2004